Why is Asking for Help so Difficult?
What if we all asked for help when we needed it?
So why can we find it so hard to ask for help?
“Being first to ask for help in a friendship takes courage and humility.” Afton Rorvik Click To Tweet
The barriers to asking for help:
- Not wanting to burden someone else
- Fear of rejection or being ignored
- Fear of seeming incompetent or weak
- Fear of being judged or even labelled
- Not wanting to feel indebted
- Feeling vulnerable
- Not knowing who to ask or where to go for support
- Hoping the problem will go away by itself
The benefits of asking for help:
- Less stress
- Getting things done that wouldn’t be possible otherwise
- New outlooks, possibilities and ideas.
- Learning new techniques and tools
- Lessening of overwhelm
- Sharing problems
- May lead to a helpful diagnosis
- It allows the other person the gift of giving
- Takes pressure off the family unit
- Reducing loneliness
- Making deeper friendships
Here’s how to do it!
- Ask the other person at a time when they have space and time to listen
- Ask someone who is likely to be willing to give freely, not someone with a history of manipulation or deal making.
- Ask from a place of truth and integrity
- Be clear and direct
- Explain specifically what it is you need support with, it could be something as simple as having someone to listen to you.
- Trust that the other person will say no if they choose to.
- Remember if the other person says no, they are saying no to the task, not to you personally.
- If they say yes, express gratitude!